Ongoing Advice To My Cat and Her Friends

I am trying to work, please could you conduct your shenanigans outside of the house!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you throw up in the kitchen during the night, please could you place a warning sign near the puke so that we don't step on it in the morning.

Advice To Neighbourhood Cats

We are no longer offering free food and accommodation.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When after Dreamies may I suggest that you ask a human to serve you, rather than trying to nick them in the middle of the night and knocking over the knife block (causing it to smash your bowl) in the process?

Question For My Cat

You are happy enough to use your cat flap to come in, but won't use it to go out why?

Advice To Neighbourhood Cats

We are not a cat restaurant/hotel!

Ongoing Advice To Our Cat and Visiting Cats

Please conduct your cat races up and down our wooden stairways during the daytime, not in the middle of the night!