Document Security

It is unwise to leave important documents in the vicinity of a cat.

Advice To Neighbours' Cats

We are not a cat cafe!

Sod's Law - Trips To The Vet

It is the law of sod, that when you need a taxi to take the cat to the vet its takes farking 30 minutes to arrive!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Flageolet Beans

Flageolet beans do not normally form part of a cat's diet!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Cat Dribble

Please don't dribble into my ear when I am sleeping.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Staring

Staring at my intently from the windowsill, in the early hours, won't get me out of bed any faster in the mornings to feed you.

Cat Alarm Clocks

Cats are very reliable alarm clocks.

Unfortunately they are programmed to wake you at 5am.