Merry Christmas

Rosie would like to wish all cats (and their human staff) a Merry Christmas and Happy and Peaceful New Year.

Tis The Season!

It's unseasonably warm here in the UK, which means we can't build Snow Cats! ☹ Do you have snow where you live? pic.twitter.com/qCXA6zToKx

— Simon's Cat (@SimonsCat) December 22, 2015

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Constipation

Increase your consumption of oily fish (eg sardines and tuna) to keep you regular.

Got Milk?

Didn't Bother To Read The Instructions

Never cry over spilt milk.

Posted by George Takei on Monday, 14 December 2015

Rosie Is Better

 
I am pleased to say that, some days after a visit to the vet (wherein laxatives and two mini enemas were administered) Rosie is better. 

Her appetite has returned, she is asking for food, her normal personality is back and she is grooming herself properly again. 

Most importantly, she has had a Krakatoa East of Java moment in the litter tray!

Therefore no return visit to the vet is required.

Rosie Is Constipated

Poor Rosie is currently a very constipated little cat.

We have been mixing cat laxatives in her food for since yesterday, but as yet (despite major efforts on her part, she really has been trying hard!) nothing has "come forth" so to speak.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Catty Bags

We don't go out for a meal in an evening with the express intention of ordering more than we need in order to bring you back a catty bag of leftovers.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Bathroom Floor

It is unwise to sleep next to the step of my bathroom floor at night, as there is a high risk I may not see you and trip up over you.

Information For My Cat - Shoebox

Now that you seem to have got bored sleeping in your cardboard shoebox, and have taken up residence on the fridge, we will be disposing of the shoebox.

Good News For My Cat - Scaffolding

Good news Rosie, the roof is now fixed and the scaffolding has been taken down today.

You may now relax safe in the knowledge that you will be warm, dry and undisturbed by ladders, scaffolding and men walking on the roof!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Roofers

The roofers have repaired the roof and have now gone, you can stop hiding in the basement kitchen.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Roof Repairs

As noted before, the nice men on the roof are fixing it in order to make your home warm and dry. There is no need to hide in the basement kitchen whilst they are on the roof.

Advice To Guest Cat

Even though you are Rosie's friend, you don't live here Aslan.

Cat Puke Abounds

Well done Rosie, not only do you start Monday with puking in the kitchen but you draw the day to a close with some projectile vomiting in the lounge!

Maybe if you didn't bolt your food down so quickly, your stomach would have a better chance of retaining it for a while?

Morning Has Broken - Cat Vomit

Monday morning has started well.

Rosie, having had her breakfast, then promptly upchucked it on the kitchen floor.

Thank you Rosie!

Question For My Cat - Fridge Sitting

Taking pole position on top of the fridge or iron staircase into the kitchen, in readiness for any special food offerings, is indeed a cunning strategy.

However, is it comfortable?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Shoe Boxes

Shoe boxes are for shoes, not for cats.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Scaffolding

There is no need to run to your safe room (the basement bathroom) to hide from the scaffolders and their scaffolding.

The nice men from the scaffolding company are here to help fix a leak in the roof, which will make the house warm and dry for you!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - String

String is not part of a cat's normal healthy diet, even if it is the string that was used to tie up  the roast sirloin.

Mog's Christmas Calamity

Helping a Cat Settle In To a New Home

When trying to help your cat settle in to its new home, always put butter on its paws.

Once the cat has finished licking its paws clean, it will feel suitably relaxed and comfortable in its new environment.

My Thanks To My Cat - Furballs

My gratitude for your overnight furball in the kitchen, doubtless regurgitated in sympathy for my stomach bug.

Cats Rule!

Cats are by far one of nature's most intelligent creatures.

They do exactly what they want, when they want.

Unlike dogs they do not need to be walked, they even clean up their own mess.

Cats Rule!

Question For My Cat - Swedish

You can't read Swedish, therefore why are you sitting on Stadsholmens magazine?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Mobile Phones

When one of our mobile phones rings the call is not for you.

Advice To Spiders

Get out of my bathroom, or I will send the cat in after you!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Computers

The keyboard of my pc is not the equivalent of a "bead massage" seat for cats.

Advice To Humans From My Cat - Cat Hoarding

Don't hoard cats!

Question For My Cat - Broccoli

Since when do cats eat broccoli?

Huzzah It's Friday!

Happy National Cat Day

Rosie would like to wish all the cats in America a very Happy National Cat Day!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Bank Statements

Bank statements are not cat bedding for sleeping on or scratching.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Attracting My Attention

When trying to attract my attention, whilst I am talking, jumping up on the table and knocking off a tray is a tad over dramatic.

Advice To Neighbours' Cats - Staring

Staring at me through the kitchen window won't make me open the door for you!

Thanks To My Cat - Chair Warming

Thank you for warming my office chair on this rather chilly October morning!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Curry

You do not eat curry!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Breakfast Time

My early morning cat breakfast feeding time call is not scheduled for 4:00AM!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Sainsburys' Delivery

Fear not, the nice man from Sainsburys' will soon be here with your food delivery.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Builders

Apologies for the inconvenience caused to your lifestyle and daily routines by the fact that we have builders coming and going at the moment.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Stairway Manners and Etiquette

It is very rude of you to barge past people on the stairs when you are going for your breakfast.

Who Drank All The Milk?

Advice To Visiting Cats - Rain

Please dry yourself before sitting on our chairs!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Jam on Toast

Cats are not meant to eat jam on toast!

The Truth About Cats

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Using Litter Trays

When using you litter tray, it is customary to place your bottom within the general area of the tray rather than perch on the rim of it bottom protruding over the edge!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Soap Bubbles

Soap bubbles burst when you bash them.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Table Manners

It is ill mannered to pat the mashed carrots just because you can't get to the pork chops.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Sharing Chairs

There are several chairs and a bench in the garden, you can surely share them with the neighbours' cats who sometimes visit and sit on one of them; instead of pushing them off everytime you see one of them sitting in a chair?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat - Shenanigans

I am trying to work, please could you conduct your shenanigans outside of the house!

Cat Vomit

Kudos to my cat for vomiting her food back into her bowl, thus ensuring that there was no mess on the floor and enabling her to eat it later.

Document Security

It is unwise to leave important documents in the vicinity of a cat.

Advice To Neighbours' Cats

We are not a cat cafe!

Sod's Law - Trips To The Vet

It is the law of sod, that when you need a taxi to take the cat to the vet its takes farking 30 minutes to arrive!